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Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Ghosts of the past

As much as it may seem like it, the people that I graduated highschool with haven't all disappeared into the dark "real world". Every now and again I'll see one of them, a ghost from my past. I see these people on the train, mostly. It's the artery that brings people from my little suburb into the heart of the city.

There are a lot of people who were my friends in highschool, who I haven't spoken to since. I guess "friend" is a lose term, one with many gradations. The people who I would call my true "friends" are a far less numerous bunch then the people who send me friend invites on facebook. I'm generally not interested in the whole facebook pokemon-esque "gotta catch them all" mentality. Sometimes I wonder why I have an account there at all. I only check it when I get an email from them to alert me that somebody has done something that affects me. I try not to put too much personal information in there since I hear so many horror stories about privacy issues on there.

I see people I used to know, or who I think I used to know, on the train sometimes. I can't always remember names, I've never been too good with names anyway. I never waive or say anything. I really don't want to talk, or "catch up", or get reaquainted. The problem is one of expectations: I'm not the same person as I used to be, and you never have enough time in a 5 minute conversation to explain all the things that have changed in so many years. I may look the same, my hair is basically how I kept it in highschool (although generally neater), my wardrobe isn't substantially different either. Of course, my lot in life hasn't improved a whole lot in the 6 years since I graduated. I'm still a full-time student. I don't have a job or a family. I do have a fiance, however, and I'm very lucky in that respect.

I dont really know why I wrote this rambling post, it was probably unnecessary. I'm probably only explaining this to myself. Maybe there's nothing to explain anyway.

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